today morgan broke up with me.
she has too much stress in her life right now, and we don't get to see eachother enough. only every other weekend. she said she loves me and can't stand the thought of me being with someone else or her being with someone else. what bugs me most is that the first time she said she loves me is when she was breaking up with me. she was hoping it would be a mutual thing. but i told her i understand the situation and accept it with no hard fealings, but it was not a mutual thing. she said that i was gonna make her cry, then i told her that i couldn't look away from the screan because there were tears in my eyes and i didn't want josh or tim to see. then she did cry i guess.
she didn't want to break up with me, and i could have easily stopped her. but she's right that we don't see eachother enough. i wish i had tried harder to see her more. i knew this was coming.
this is hard for me, it's the first time ive had a break up like this. how i still want to be with her, and she still wants me also. its hard because my sorrow will not be able to turn into anger like usual, so i don't know how im gonna deal with this. anger... make life so much easier. i have been prettending everything is okay today. nobody has any clue that im dead on the inside accept josh. he knew with just one glance. thanks for being so cool josh. your probably the only person who reads all this, probably the only one to read it at all. rocky horror will be awkward for a while.
i'll be ok